Hand & Eye: Fifteen Years of the Dorothea Lange–Paul Taylor Prize

September 19, 2005–January 8, 2006
Juanita Kreps and Lyndhurst Galleries

Women

MARY BERRIDGE AND RIVER HUSTON (1996)

At the end of 2003, the Centers for Disease Control estimated that 88,815 adult and adolescent American women were living with AIDS. Early in the epidemic, relatively few women were diagnosed with the disease, and for many years it was seen as almost solely affecting men. Today, HIV/AIDS represents a growing and persistent health threat to women, especially to young women and women of color. In 1997, women represented 41 percent of the people living with HIV; that figure has risen, and now women represent almost 50 percent of those infected worldwide. Yet, because of pervasive misconceptions about the disease and its victims, the harm HIV/AIDS has done to women around the world has been largely overlooked and, in turn, their experiences ignored by the media. Mary Berridge and River Huston looked into the lives of women with HIV or AIDS. Huston, who is HIV positive, visited women who were also diagnosed with the disease and interviewed them about their lives and shared experiences. Berridge photographed the women at their homes, gaining another perspective on the reality of this disease and its effects on their families.

Photographs and interview excerpts are from A Positive Life: Portraits of Women Living with HIV by Mary Berridge and River Huston (Running Press, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 2003).


PHOTO GALLERY
Photographs by Mary Berridge




INTERVIEWS
By River Huston

A Positive Life


MEREDITH, 41
“I had a blood transfusion twice. I was an intravenous drug user and I was very promiscuous, so I don’t know how I was infected. It doesn’t really matter.

At the time [I found out] I was dating Kevin, who is now my husband. He was the first person I told. . . . After he tested positive I had to work on my guilt. I went to therapy and group sessions. I had to come up with a way to deal with it. I love my husband. He made his choice. . . .

HIV is not the end of life. I work a full-time job. We can’t have children so we compensate with the dogs. We don’t let it affect us. We eat well, pay the mortgage. Everything after that is a gift. . . .

My husband’s family doesn’t know. They are from Wisconsin. I went to AIDS Manasota, a conference for people with AIDS. When I came home, they asked where I had been. I told them. They asked, ‘Why did you go?’ I tell them I take women I sponsor from Alcoholics Anonymous. I try to help them to be open. His dad said, ‘Those people are really dirty. You can never drink behind them.’ Sometimes I can’t believe how ignorant people can be. This man has no concept. Every time he comes to visit, he gives me a big kiss on the lips. I give him a hug and I smile to myself.”—Meredith

Meredith died from AIDS-related illnesses in 1999.



NILSA RAMOS, 40
“My husband died of AIDS almost three years before I found out I was infected. I was drunk, pregnant, and ready to deliver. My son was born jaundiced, alcoholic, and with the virus. I don’t recall them telling me that it could reverse on him. I stayed drunk for about two or three more days, then I asked for help because Josh was in the hospital.

I went through detox. It was really hard. . . . In a funny way HIV is a blessing. I would be dead or a prostitute by now. I got my life together. I got my kids. . . . I’m married now. I met my husband, William Santiago, in the program. We have been together for nine years; legally, for six. William is HIV-negative.

I have been very lucky. I want to see my children graduate and get married. I would like to have some time to enjoy my husband. One thing I want to say to the President, ‘Please find a cure. A lot of us are dying fast every day.’”—Nilsa Ramos

When River Huston last spoke with Nilsa, called Cookie by her friends, in 2003, she was healthy, sober, and living in Queens with her two children.



TRACIE EDNESS-ETHEREDGE, 38
“I know who infected me. He called for me to come see him in the hospital. I knew what he was going to tell me. I had to pray before I went there for the strength to not be angry—that I could just be there for him. They thought he was going to die. His lungs had collapsed. I knew this might be my last opportunity to have closure with him.

I didn’t say nothing. I let him talk. He said he was sorry and he wondered how many people’s lives he messed up. I don’t know if he knew he was infected when he was with me. At this point it doesn’t matter. I don’t hold him responsible because I chose not to wear condoms. I never used condoms until I knew I was infected. . . .

[Ben and I] had a beautiful wedding, but on our honeymoon I lost it. When he pulled out the condoms and put them on the dresser I just burst out in tears. He held me and told me it was going to be okay. It just hit me so hard that I have this virus. Here I’m married, and I can never have unprotected sex with my husband.”—Tracie Edness-Etheredge

Tracie died from AIDS-related illnesses in February 2000.



DEBBIE DIAMOND, 45
“I lived with a man who was HIV-positive for two years. I took an HIV test every six months. One time the test came back positive. Living with a man who is HIV-positive, you take it on as your own. You’re living with it every day. It’s almost as if you have the disease.

Most people knew that he was positive. We never hid it. After I tested positive, only my oldest daughter knew. She had come with me when I went for the results. I tried to remain calm. I was in shock even though I knew that this was always a possibility. She became my support. She would say, ‘Don’t worry mom, you will be okay.’ She was twenty-one years old.

I didn’t choose to tell my children, it was really forced on me. It was some holiday, and they were going to visit their father’s family. But his family insisted that they all be tested before they come up. I felt compelled to tell them why they were all being tested. They were upset when I told them I was infected. They were only eight, ten, and fifteen....

Now their father and his family are educated. They act a lot different now about HIV.”—Debbie Diamond



JULIE EVENSON, 34
“I ran into an old boyfriend’s grandmother at the grocery store. She was in front of me at the check-out line. It was Christmastime. We went to the store to get molasses to make gingerbread cookies. She told me that her grandson was home living with her now. Then she asked if I had heard that he was really sick—he had AIDS. I said ‘No,’ and I added that it’s too bad and that was about it. I was completely stunned, but I don’t think it showed. My dad was with me. He heard the whole thing, but he didn’t say anything. When I got home, I told my mom. She had been watching the kids. She couldn’t believe it. I said, ‘Do you know what this could mean?’ No one believed that I was really at risk. But we were all instantly in another frame of mind. I was scared to death.

The next day I called and made an appointment to take a test. I was so worried and nervous. A week later I went for my results. They called me in and told me I was HIV-positive. . . . I called Troy, my husband, from a pay phone. He could not believe it. He kept saying, ‘No way.’ I didn’t know what to do.

It took me thirty years to get exactly what I wanted: a great husband, four beautiful children, a house, and a good job. I had it all for a year and a half, and then my life fell apart. I’m still happy. I just had to adjust my priorities. I used to be so exact and picky. Everything had to be in place. Now it’s more important to be with the kids. To be with the people I love.”—Julie Evenson

Julie responded to AIDS treatment and is living a full and happy life.

banner image:

Installation view of Hand & Eye: Fifteen Years of the Lange–Taylor Prize. Photograph by Christoper Sims.


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